Ever since I was old enough to read, I have found respite within the pages of books. Portals into safer and more predictable worlds, books were my way of escaping current realities long before I started using self-destructive numbing behaviors. Still today when I can't seem to verbally articulate my emotions/feelings, I can cultivate understanding through written words by allowing myself to put pen to paper without reservation.
Back in September, when I had decided to WWOOF, I knew it would be the perfect opportunity to get serious about my writing. It seemed like the Universe was conspiring with me, because as soon as I got to the vineyard, I began seeing ads for a women's only online book writing workshop called "The Write the Dang Book Conference" led by author of the book Chasing the Brightside, Jess Ekstrom.
The conference took place over the course of five days and included an all-female guest speaker line-up of writers and entrepreneurs. There were daily prompts and guided questions all geared toward helping us narrow down our ideas and troubleshoot common publishing pitfalls.
At the time of the conference, I was feeling more motivated than ever to write MY dang book already. I began outlining, brainstorming chapter ideas, and writing with more precision and intention than I ever had previously. Having always felt compelled to share my story with others, I tested the waters of vulnerability both with this blog and my social media content. However, when it came to day four of the conference and our challenge was to "Announce on social media that you are writing a book" I panicked.
I was struck down mightily by imposter syndrome and self doubt. Thoughts that stemmed from fear began clouding my vision. "You don't have the discipline to write a book. Your story is not unique enough to be worth writing about, let alone for others to want to read about it. The odds of getting published are slim to none" etc...
These negative thoughts are what have kept me from even publishing this blog post until now, well past my 30th birthday "deadline."
But I have decided that enough is enough. I refuse to live in fear of failure. I refuse to stack up the reasons why "I can't" when the Universe is practically screaming "YES YOU FREAKING CAN SIS!" I'm ready to stop living in doubt and start living in abundance.
So with that, I'm excited to announce to the world that I am writing a book!
I don't know how long of a journey I am embarking on, but I am already filled with gratitude for the finished product and how it will transform my life. As for this blog, I hope that I have inspired others to look for ways of expressing gratitude for the abundance in their lives as well. Because by voicing what we are grateful for (even if we don't yet have it) we are raising our frequency both individually and collectively. Thank you for joining me on my gratitude quest from 29 to 30, be blessed everyone and stay tuned!
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