How much of your day do you think you spend mindlessly scrolling through your phone? Comparing your life, whether consciously or subconsciously, to the rose tinted and photoshopped lives of celebrities or influencers..? I'd be willing to bet that you are currently reading this on your phone and only stumbled on this page because of a social media post, am I right?
I don't pose these questions to incite feelings of guilt, but rather to hopefully bring awareness. Prior to removing my Instagram and Facebook apps from my phone, I knew I was using social media as a way to escape and numb.
I would put off activities that I knew were more enriching and fulfilling, in favor of an activity that did nothing but leave me feeling inadequate, angry, envious, and increasingly lonely.
What was most frustrating was that this mindless scrolling was practically subconscious. Hours of my day were easily "lost" to the void of cyberspace and then I would feel guilty for being unproductive.
The QUEEN SUPREME goddess mother of shedding light on guilt and shame: Brene Brown, explains why we do this in her book "Daring Greatly."
"When we're anxious, disconnected, vulnerable, alone, and feeling helpless, the booze and food and work and endless hours online feel like comfort, but in reality they're only casting their long shadow over our lives."
Sound familiar? Numbing is arguably one of the most common defenses people use against emotions. The different "shields" or "armor" that are used can include but aren't limited to: drugs/alcohol, food, exercise, shopping, gambling, sex, video games, social media, work, pornography, obsessive dieting, etc. Basically anything that activates the pleasure center of the brain and is utilized excessively as a way to avoid feeling certain emotions is: NUMBING BEHAVIOR.
What's interesting about social media however, is although it can be a distraction from certain personal problems/emotions, it is also really good at amplifying collective emotions/fears. Suddenly I found myself not only worrying about my finances, career, and living situation, but now I was constantly looking over my shoulder for murder hornets!
Enough was enough. I was done living in fear, feeding my insecurities with lies and speculation, and comparing myself to everyone else's highlight reels. It was time to disconnect, so I could reconnect.
By cutting the propaganda cord, I have "found" so much more time for activities that actually bring me joy. I've read more books, I've written many letters, I've created poems and art of all kinds, I've tried new forms of body movement/exercise, I cook more, I go to sleep at a reasonable time and get up without distraction, and most importantly: I don't feel like I'm missing out...
If anything, it feels like everyone else is...
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